In and Out Of Love
I woke up this morning looking out the window with dread of getting up for church, I don't know if many or any of you know what this feels like.
Some weeks I just hate church, the talking with people you have nothing in common with, sitting in a service you just wish and pray would end so you can make your escape, and when it is over trying to run for the door not looking anyone in the eye. This was how my day started, today they preached on elders and how an elder should live and how his family should live. ( In my my view only, so don't get mad) I don't think any of the elders are living to these standards, yet the church has put them in these positions. If they don't match the standards placed by the Bible, then we the church are placing them under power they should never have and then we also doing wrong. It would be better to have no elders. I have never become a church member for the fact that I am already in the family of God but I don't believe in the things the church I am attending bases their views upon ( by not being a member you can't vote on who the elder will be). I go to this church however, one, for I have gone there my whole life and two I agree more with their views than any other church here.
Some days I think it would be better not to go at all, but house rules .
Why if I believe in the Bible and God, is it so hard for me to love these people and not feel unloved and unwelcome in the church crowd. Why do I find the non-believers more welcoming, caring, and able to listen about God. I find when I talk to a Christian about faith and my own view points, they jump to bring you down a notch faster then say a non-believer. At least they let you finish, I'm sure many of your minds are working right now on what you would say to all of this.. but it's true. I'm sorry if this has hurt anyone, but I am so tired of caring who I'm going to hurt with anything I say, and tired of hearing people jump at me and think I have said something stupid before hearing where I'm going with a sentence.
When it comes to church it's both love and hate, for I do love the people but I hate how they can make you feel. I know we are all sinners but when you get more love and feel more useful to the world, it's hard to choose which to be a part of. I know I need to look and the eternal and not the now but that's hard to do.
Note: I should just go back to bed and have this day over with.
posted by Joy @ 3:19 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
So how would you make chuch a more desirous place to go.
Why do you expect better than Jesus did of his disiples?
Why do you feel Christians should be better behaved than you expect non-Christians to be. Didn't you say that it was the behaviour of people at work that made you want to quit there?
Have you ever noticed that Satan always chooses just the right time to attack you? When you haven't had enough rest, when you haven't been spending time daily with the Lord, when the demands on your time and energy seem overwhelming –that's when the enemy tries to pull the rug out from under you.
The good news is – even that rug is under God's feet. And God always has victory in mind! He will never allow Satan to discourage you without a plan for your ultimate success! We may not always choose to follow Christ to victory, but He is always leading the way!
God wants to give you the victory because He loves you, and because it will be a testimony to His goodness for all to see. Choose today to rise up and take authority over any area of your life that's keeping you in defeat. Be on the aggressive. Be on the offensive. Stay focused and determined, and God will take you places you've never dreamed of. Claim His promises of joy and abundance with confidence and rejoice in the triumph that God has in store for you today!
A Prayer for Today
God, open my eyes to the things in my life that are dragging me down. Help me always be on guard over my spiritual life. Help me to be alert and to stay focused on the plan that You have for me. In Jesus' name - Amen
What causes you discouragement? Fatigue? Finishing? Fear? Frustration? Why?
What do you normally do when you're discouraged? What do you feel you should be doing? How can you make these changes?
What is your "Lifebouy" verse that lifts you up when you're feeling down?
I love you - but imperfectly I know. PLease forgive me, but I'll never be able to love you the way that you need this side of heaven... But!! The good thing is, there we will. And a love not built on any presuppositions of feeling and action etc... but un adulterated love based in the creator of love itself...
I understand where you're coming from Joy. It's difficult sometimes to want to go to "church". It's also easy to scrutinize people (i.e. elders). I don't think any of the other comments really seemed to understand what you were getting at. It can be a very frustrating thing to find yourself trapped in the traditions of man. There will never be a perfect church... ever.
One comment about the role of elder in the Bible. I think these qualifications are not just for elders but for ALL believers. I don't like the direction the institutional church is headed. Elders are buisness men, not shepherds/teachers. The elder role has turned from shepherd-leading into buisness-management... we no longer vote primarliy on character, but on the aptitude of the elder's ability to "produce", or his ability to get on board with a "Board" or "Senior Pastor" who "produces results".
The hypocrisy we see is teaching from our pulpits about how the Christian life is all about the "journey" yet the harsh reality is that it is about the bottom line: results.
I've been shocked to hear elders talk about their spirituality. Not in the sense of their "knowledge" about faith matters, but to find out where they really are. Many are too young to be leading in this role. The "fresh blood" syndrome is killing our churches. Again, all the "fresh blood" talk is again, replacing mature shepherd-leaders with young buisness-minded leaders with great entreprenurial skills.
Sorry... this blog is becoming my own blog. All this is to say that I understand where you are coming from Joy. And I won't try to sugar coat or try to make you feel like you should believe something else... sometimes God puts these feelings in our hearts so that we're drawn to Him.
Thank-you anonymous you hit it on the nose better then could.
Way to stir up the pot! I was thinking of you this weekend when I was wishing one of my girls was home to (I'll just whisper it!)dye my hair. I thought about letting it go to au naturel, but the process is so painful. Anyway I thought maybe you would like to be my surrogate daughter. I think you should go to church next Sunday and 1. sit in someone else's spot (or maybe beside that young man who has been coming for awhile and sitting all alone) 2. stand at the door with Pastor Allen and shake everyone's hand as they leave 3. invite yourself to someone's place for lunch.(someone you don't know very well or maybe have never spoken to before). Then you have to report in your blog the reactions you got. P.S. I had to endure the humiliation of Pastor Allen saying I would kick his shins on Tuesday for him not reading the bulletin! Love you!
Well, I really wish that I was in church on Sunday. As I was reading your blog, I could understand your frustration. I also agree with Anonymous' comment about churches becoming places where results are the end goal. But in a way, aren't results to be the end goal? Whether it's the result that the congregation is shepherded or people are drawn into the flock by un-restrained witnessing, we are here on this earth to make a difference for the Lord. I understand that Anonymous was talking about the business end of the church. Anyhow, I'm not sure where I was going with this so I'm just going to end here. :)
Joy, this has been a very interesting read. Thanks for being so honest about how you feel, so often we don't say the truth for fear of hurting someone, even unintentionally. You know, it is OK to question these things about the church, and it's even OK to feel aprehensive about going to church, but don't let these feelings make you bitter--instead, let them push you into moving out of your comfort zone. I agree with mag--do something a little different, and seize the opportunity to allow God to work! By the way, who is this boy she wants you to sit with?
oh KELLY - YOU KNOW!!
This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
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