Awkward Banter


Two men walk into Boston Pizza, one carrying 30 feet of rope.
The waitress (me) says .....'Whatever I did to you, I'm so sorry!'
'Oh, the rope is because we're going water skiing after lunch', one man replies.
Five minutes later the waitress clued in.... it's winter!


Note: I never found out what the rope was for but they passed it off to another man that came in.

Oil Change $39, Finding things wrong $700, being broke priceless.


Yesterday I had an oil change for my car ( my first since buying ), I go back to pick it up and I hear that I have a few things wrong, telling me what they are and that he will price it up.
I'm standing there saying ok but I have no clue what any of the things were.
Now why would the guy think, this girl knows her cars... or is it that I have sucker written across my forehead.
Well the latter would be true, when it comes to cars I'll pay anything if someone thinks there's something wrong.
Now I would let some of the things go without being fixed.... if I wasn't going on a trip coming up.
I'm going with my sister and friend, down to see the husband and sons of my friend who died last year ( in a car crash) the day after she died. I know God is in full control... but I also want to know that my car is in the best top shape it can be. So I may not be the richest woman or have the most knowledge of cars, but knowing my car and friends are safe is priceless.

Note: Spelling bad, grammer worse, T.A. no longer.

To Be Or Not To Be...

For the last week all around me people have been suffering the arrows of misfortune.
Why is it that little things in life can hurt us and impact us to such a degree?
Tonight as I sit and write this I'm frustrated.. I don't know why... and so I'm getting more frustrated.
When life gets to be mundane do you think 'what do I need to change' or do you work through it 'thinking it's just a faze?'
To be in a mundane life or not to be... That is my question.

30 or 25

Not to long ago my lovely sister wrote a blog call 'closet seniors', as funny and witty as the blog was I have to say she portrayed me in the wrong light. I don't think by any means that I'm acting older than my age but, rather, women today are trying to be younger.
For instance, women are subtracting from their age on a daily basis, they have creams and makeup to cover aging lines, hair dye to cover grey hairs that might show up... On and on this list goes.
Now what is wrong with a woman coming along in life wanting all the great enjoyments and wisdom that come with age?
Why do women need to act and be something they're not?
Most women want what another has or think someone always looks better.
What I think is that with age the competition comes to an end, you no longer are trying to look your best but be your best ( I know this does not apply to all older women, for they haven't grown beyond that).
With age the fun starts and you can finally enjoy the things that you really like, being able for once to put your cares of what others think aside. You see you have lived a great life and all the hard times were a starting ground for the next step in their life. Coming to the end or of what they think is the end real life starts to bloom, and if you can have this when you're young you're more alive and more woman then any clone out there today.

Note: Grace I love you ;)

22 or really 102

Two days ago at work I was having really bad pain in my left foot, then yesterday it seems to be getting worse. I have this other waitress willing to work for me for today (her day off) and they tell us both ' Joy will still have to come into work, we now need the both of you.' I was so mad! I have went to work with a hurt wrist, been really sick and other people call in saying they have no clean cloths and get the day off!
Anyhow, the one willing to work for me says 'Go and get the doctor to look at it and get a doctor's note'. Now I hate going to the hospital for myself (the last time a went I was 18 for x-rays) , so I wasn't going to go, then this one manager ( same as top, not the birthday) says to me ' Joy even with a doctors note I need you to come in'... What!
Now if my foot is that bad that a doctor would write me up, you would think I would get the time off. Good workers they treat like dog poo.
So I went to the hospital, one hour in the waiting room and another two in another room. I was ready to go after an hour and a half, I still had to get to work ( I had money still from the morning I had to put in) so many people there needed help and I just had a sore foot.
The doctor finally came (I'm thinking he's just going to laugh in my face) you know what he tells me...... I have Arthritis! I have to get a week off of work and take pills to get the swelling to go down. The first thought that came to my head was am I 22 or 102? Arthritis?.... My age?...
Well, I know now why my foot hurt so much.

Note: As I write this I'm still ready for them to call me into work, not that I will go.

Designated Driver

So tonight I had a birthday party to go to for my manager, Aaaaahhhh! I was so board! And where do they have the party?... Boston Pizza! I'm with a group of people from work and I think ' o.k. the night won't be that bad, I know everyone here'. Well they start to order drink and are asked who the DD was going to be. ' Joy' all around remark, ' she doesn't drink'. From then on out the remarks and drinks come flying. The talk was all ' Lets teach Joy about the birds and the bee's'.
I was so board and I felt bad that this was how they party, a group of women talking like sailors and drinking much more then any sailor... I'm sure. They complain about their weight but will down four to five drinks in an hour. I was just so happy tonight for the group of friends that I do have, they can have fun without having anything in them.
Then they start to bug the other staff and who gets to here about it.... me! At least three times tonight I got into trouble for something the others did. I cleaned up after them, I had to drive them when they keep sticking things in my face and ears. ( I know... I didn't have to drive them, but I didn't want to hear it at work for the next couple of weeks what a downer I was).
However, there was a good thing that came out of this.... well both bad and good. This lady I work with her friend and friend's husband were in a car crash the other night in St. Albert. Her friend is having a baby and is only into it by six months, the baby right now has a 50/50 chance to live and she has a lot of body damage. Her Husband's side of the car was hit so he is in very bad shape. ( that's the bad part) The good part is, I asked if I could pray for them. "yes" was her reply, I star to pray in my head and she asks when am I going to start. Now at that point it was only her, myself and one other. Both don't believe in God ( so they say) I start to pray, when I'm done they said "thats all there is to it?" "yep". It was a small part to my bad night but I hope it got them thinking and that God can uses this for his good and glory.

Note: by no means am I a saint but I don't like to waste my money and time on something I'm going to forget the next morning and feel sick for all day.

Mating in captivity

You can thank Grace for the header. The comment, however, started me thinking about how we as humans in a way all mate in captivity. I'm really going off the wall here, but this is my thoughts....
We all have a pattern, a dance... you can call it in finding a mate. Many rules apply-
No Freedom, we all are bound to a way of flirting and rules. {even though we may say we hate them and want to do away with them, we abide by them anyway - stinkin' natural life cycles etc... - G.S.}
Why is it that we can't just tell people how we really feel?
Rules:
#1: You both need a common knowledge of "liking one another" before one makes the first move.
#2: The hair toss is the clincher move. Never use it too early on (or boys, you might just scare her off!)
#3: Never look the girl straight in the eyes, for more than a few seconds (If your not ready for marriage) {also a clincher move... unless of course you have a lazy eye, and/or glass eye/cataracts/happy face contact lens - G.S.}
#4: To be nice to a woman is asking for deep trouble, whether you like her or not... because women are trouble.
#5: Never wash your hands after using the bathroom, that's just giving her false expectations
#6: Bad pick up lines can capture a woman's heart better then any flowers.
#7: Just tell her she looks fat in all her clothes, we learn not to ask after the tenth time (kidding, we'll never learn!)
#8: Aim low and try to look good after marriage not before.
#9: The "hand holding dance" is just a waste of time and we know you don't like it, just tell us how you ' feel' that's better than physical affection.... {although cuddling after is nice too. After what? ... get out of the gutter - after sharing your feelings of course} grace's adendum.
#10: Forget all you think about women, not one is alike (what worked with your old girlfriend might not work every time.... Unless you're looking for a Stepford Wife)

WARNING!! The views expressed in this blog, although eloquent are not a true representation of my thoughts and/or feelings.
Signed, the incredible (some may say desperate) duo Joy & Grace "Stepford" Schienbein