It Shall not be Forgiven

Lately I have been reading George Macdonald's book ' Unspoken Sermons' and I find his veiws to draw light to passages I have read over and over but never thought about.
The last sermon was called ' It shall not be forgiven' this one I have to say, taught me what I have a hard time doing...... forgiving.
I can hold on to things that have hurt me for years, and the more I think about it, the more the problem can hurt me over and over again. I never thought it was something I could change or that I even wanted to change, but it has been something I have been told I have to do.. forgive.

These are just parts of his sermon that hit me:

start with -Luke 12:10

- Christ is God's Forgiveness.

- If God forgave a man who was unforgiving and hated his brother, How would the man interpret it? Would it not mean to him, " You may go on hating. I do not mind it. You have had great provocation, and are justified in your hate"? Man would think, Not that God loved the sinner, but that He forgave the sin, which God never does. Every sin meets with its due fate- inexorable expulsion from the paradise of God's Humanity. He loves the sinner so much that He cannot forgive him in any other way than by banishing from his bosom the demon that possesses him, by lifting him out of the mire of his iniquity.


-Forgiveness, is not love merely, but love conveyed as love to the erring, so establishing peace towards God, and forgiveness towards our neighbour.


-Without the Spirit to witness with his spirit, no man could know himself forgiven, even if God appeared to him and said so. The full forgiveness is, when a man feels that God is forgiving him; and this cannot be while he oposes himself to the very essence of God's will.

*- When a man gives up self, his past sins will no longer oppress him.

note: these are just some of the quotes I like from this book, and this was just one sermon, but one I need to get into my thick head.

Never could be a therapist


Tonight I had a call to go for coffee ( at work that is ) with some of the girls getting off shift. There is this one person I work with, that was so down ( I could never be a therapist, I hurt when they tell me things they are having to go through).
So I get her talking, I don't even know where to begin typing.... Some months ago now she was charged with assault, she and her boyfriend ( I also worked with at one point) had gotten into a fight at the bar (both had been drinking). She had gotten too out of hand and smashed a beer bottle into his face.
From his side of the story, I took it that she was this bad, crazy mean girl, but lately I'm not so sure.
Anyhow the cops were the ones to charge her and she is now facing two years in jail.
Now here is the part that gets me all mad, he calls her at all hours of the night ( but the cops said she can't talk to him) he says one thing ( to me or others, I try not to talk with him) and then I hear lies and stories he tells to her of what we said, trying to hurt her or make her mad at us, and I don't hear from her what he has lied about, but from other people I work with ( All of this by they way I have never tried to be a part of... other then asking her how she was tonight).
He even came in tonight and joined us, because he called ahead to see if she was working. AAHHHH! ( frustrated)
Now in my head, if someone put a beer bottle in my face I would walk a mile to get away from them, not call to find out if they were off work, so I can hang out.
She told me she would end it all tonight if she could, just to stop the on going nightmares, I see her at work so tired some days, from trials.. his calls...ect.
What could I say to that... I just told her I love her and it would hurt to no end if I knew she was going to do such a thing and I had no way to help her. I told her it would end here but then what?
I went on to talk about God's love and sins being washed away , because she had said with all she's done, she's going to hell if she took her life or not, because she couldn't now be forgiven for her past. ( I didn't say all of what I said to her in these words, it sounds kinda cheesy the way I'm typing)
I'm not saying in anyway what she did was right.... But with him I might have done the same thing.. I don't know what went on to lead into the whole mess. But who I'm I to judge either of them, I just know she's hurting and I can't get the fear from my mind of what she could do to herself.
I gave her my number and told her if she wanted to ever talk more, to give me a call and I would take her for coffee, we didn't have a long talk because others joined us, I just pray God will give me a chance to talk more about Him with her.
Why I'm typing this? because I need you to pray for her, that this so called lost sheep can find her way into her masters arms.
Please!.. Pray.. pray.. pray!
I am thankful I could talk some with her, and she made me see even my bad days are nothing to what others go through. To them my bad day are their good ones.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. -Romans 3:23

Note: Sorry I have no spell check

Waters of life

I'm running on empty, I have no more to give

Pour Your waters of life over me.

Quench my thirst Lord,

Quench my longing.

Wash the dirt from my eyes so I can see.

Make me Yours, Lord, make me Yours, Lord.

Not my will, but Your will be done in me.

I'm not worthy, but I'm asking,

Make me Yours and use me, Lord, to do Your will.

Like the woman at the well, You came to my side,

And asked me to turn from sin and shame,

Lord fill up my cup, so I will thirst no more,

Then I will go and tell of all You've done.

Make me Yours, Lord, make me Yours, Lord,

Not my will, but Your will be done in me.

Quench this thirst Lord,

Quench this longing,

Let Your waters of life flow over me.

Lost in Translation


Where do I begin? Tonight at work I was talking with this nice Man ( about 60) named Harold.

For the last two years he has been living here in Cold Lake working. He lives at the Lake Land Inn, has nothing but a little room the company pays for. The people he works with are all much younger ( he's more like their boss), so he has no one to go out and have a good time with. Each night, sometimes lunch Harold comes in just to talk and have something warm to eat, his wive lives somewhere eles... Well this is what I'll be touching on.

Harold is just over all a great man!

Most nights after work I sit down and talk to Harold for a bit, we have talked about Religion, Government, jobs, family... and so on.

Tonight however, he was a little down and lonely, tired of his job and missing his wife. For all of their married life he has had jobs away from home, just to make the money they needed. His wife always had a chance to come with him on these jobs because they last for years at a time. He has asked her to move with him but she won't, he told me tonight this has hurt him for years and now he has just given up asking. "She can have the best of both worlds this way, married and single".

It just hurts me to think, all this man wants, is for the wife he is working to feed and take care of, to be with him well doing so. And she can't love him enough to say bye to her friends pack up and move every four or five years. Four years! Some women move up to five times or more in one year. Harolds a great guy and has been married about 25 or so years, missing his kids growing up and working jobs he didn't always like. Yes, he could quit to and be with her, yet he feels she would push him away.

Where is the commitment with people today? To death do us part? Or you move somewhere I don't want to go. Somewhere along the line in their marriage the communication got lost in the translation. So please pray for him..

"What on earth is this girls problem" - Jon Madison (pro)
this is what someone had to say about this picture on my sisters flickr sight... honestly! You should see HIS pictures.
The end.
OP.S. I like spam in between my toes

To Know His Will

I have been going from blog to blog this morning and in most, not all, there seems to be a theme. Questions, pain, wants, needs. We are all here on this earth to do the will of God and by reading his word we know what we should do... but like Paul says... that we don't do.
Well I'm in the same boat as most of you.. I wish I could say my problems out weigh others but I know that in this boat there are no higher decks.

With each job I have had in the last five years since coming home from Bible college, after a year at the job I feel a great need to get out, out of the job, out of town, out of the country.

Well I'm at this place again.... I know what the Bible says we should do and that is to proclaim God. But it doesn't tell me to go back college or even to have gone in the first place, what job to have, where to live, who to marry or even if I get that option.
So how do you find God's will for your life? Do you go off of a feeling? ( That has gotten me into trouble one time to many)

People have been telling me latley to get a new job... is this the will of God?
People have been telling me to move away, so I have better chance at meeting a nice guy.... is this the will of God?... I have went way before and met no good Christian men, other times I have left and met many, but all of which had girlfriends. What does moving away solve there? Other then being lonley if you don't know anyone.
I have had people tell me I just am needing time away and to take a trip somewhere for a month... is that the will of God? I may have a nice time away from everything but after all is said and done. I would need another job to get me back in the money I have now.

Then the question of money came to mind.... If God is my Father and gives me daily bread, then what do I need with hand fulls of cash? I have a car.. great, but did I really need it? I don't really care if I have money.... I like to have money so I can give it away to people I know who need it more, but I don't like my job in which I gain this income. So do I stay in a job I no longer like to help others? If I leave what then?
The Bible says to work and enjoy life.... how do you do this, when you feel lost and have no direction to follow.

To know the will of God.....